something’s underfoot

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Something’s underfoot, but I can’t quite name it. Call it a yearning, one that’s lit from within, the kind that I know well enough by now not to ignore. These yearnings have come before, at different degrees. Some I’ve followed, some I’ve waited out. Some have materialized while others have led the way to something unrelated, at least to the naked eye. Sometimes I’m tired of the soul searching, yet sometimes I feel that this the beginning of acceptance – an acceptance of perpetual motion, of a rod forever casting out and reeling in its line. A big challenge, I think, is to find contentment with life as it is, while at the same time following the instinct to either adjust, replenish, or get the hell out of dodge.

The problem with the Internet is that it allows anyone to publish anything. In my own case, this problem has been a good one, for without it, I wouldn’t have the chance to write these words. My family and close friends read this, and so I hold myself accountable. I have a responsibility to be honest and to follow through with what goes up here. I don’t take the opportunity lightly.

Perpetual motion. I believe in it. I believe in constantly moving forward, regardless of how small the steps. To get out of bed in the morning is to move forward. Offering a kind word to someone you’d rather ignore – moving forward. Deciding that the people who piss you off the most are probably going to do you the most good, maybe not directly, but maybe by causing you to stop and think about your own contribution to the relationship, and to other relationships, too – that’s moving forward. Knowing when to give up, let go, quit – however you prefer – is usually a sign of progression. Asking for help can be a challenge, but in the name of forward motion, that’s exactly what I’m gearing up to do.

I want to find a mentor, a professional mentor with writing experience. This post is more of a declaration so that I am held accountable for reaching out to people, asking for help, and admitting that yes, I do want to write. I hope that by the end of the year, I’ll have met someone. By that time, I hope that you’ll have met at least one person who inspires you, too.


  • Annie

    I agree with perpetual motion but I struggle with the idea that the movement is always forward. I think sometimes our movement has to be sideways, or in reverse, in order for us to eventually move forward again… just a thought.

    I’m so happy you want to write more. I’m proud of you.

    • jlgabel

      Thank you! And I agree with you. I think any movement is valuable as long as we’re conscious. I might have used the word “forward” when I really just meant “movement.” Thanks for your insight, always~

  • Jennifer Stevens

    Jacqui, feel free to talk to me any time! I’ve been freelancing for the past 7 years and can hopefully steer you in the right direction. Let’s set up a Skype date.

  • Destiny

    There are people for whom their lives are in perpetual motion in big ways and ones for whom that motion is small. I think you’re (and I am) more the former, and that sense that you’re life is always moving and changing, often in big ways, CAN get exhausting. I’ve been feeling that a lot lately. The fatigue of an interesting, challenging life that puts me in places that I wouldn’t have predicted sometime even a short time beforehand. I welcome the variety of experience, the challenge of constant adaption, but sometimes I just want to sit still for awhile. But, of course, as these things are wont to do, the feeling passes and you keep truckin along. Cheers to the next stage of your journey, whatever that may be.